Magic In Everyday Occurrences [FICTOID]

The Krav Maga sweatband materialized on Patty’s head.  

She yanked it off with great irritation; she felt an aversion to magical advertisements actually touching her.

I ought to complain, she thought, then dismissed the idea.  Takes too long and would it stop them?  No.

A tiny homunculus carrying a sandwich board sign advertising time shares materialized directly in her path, too close for her to avoid stepping on.  It vanished with a squeak and a pop, contributing to the litter on the city streets.

Patty frowned and scraped the ectoplasm off her shoe.

Back at her apartment, a magical leprechaun vendor sat under her doorbell.  “Sure, as if I were only born yesterday, I’m prepared to offer you fifty magic beans -- “

Patty wouldn’t let him finish.  “Beat it,” she growled.  “I’m hungry and you’d fit my crock pot quite nicely.”

The leprechaun blanched, made a rude magical gesture, and scampered off.

Patty used the touchscreen to enter her apartment.  At least technology doesn’t intrude every damn --

Her thought was abruptly terminated by a unicorn sitting on the carpet in her living room, a new car lease impaled on its horn, awaiting her signature.

“Out!” she said.  “You’re not supposed to be here.  I’m no longer a virgin.”

“That’s okay,” said the unicorn.  “I’m not straight.  It’s only hetero unicorns who -- “

“Out!”

The unicorn trotted out.  Patty swore under her breath and, having her fill of unicorns of any orientation, called a lesbian friend.  “Cindy, I’ve got a big favor to ask…”

© Buzz Dixon