One Night On The I-10 Just Outside Of Tucson [FICTOID]

“When the hell did you get in?!?!?”

“Με τους θεούς!  Τι μαγεία είναι αυτή?”

“Did you let him in?”

“’Me?!?!?  We’re traveling down t
he highway at 70mph.  I’m just as
surprised as you are!”

“Ποιος είσαι?  Γιατί με
έφερες εδώ?”

“What the hell is that
thing you’re wearing?  
Going to a toga party?”

“He smells like a goat.”

“Yeah, just caught a whiff of
him up here.  Phew!”

“Τι περίεργες μυρωδιές είναι αυτές? 
Μου βάζεις κάποιο μαγικό ξόρκι?”

“He doesn’t seem
to speak English.”

“Greek, maybe?  It doesn’t
sound like Latin.”

“How would you know
what Latin sounds like?”

“I was a Latin major in college.”

“And yet you drive an Uber.”

“I drive an Uber because
I was a Latin major.”

“No other skills, eh?”

“Yeah, and temperamentally
unsuited for sex work.”

“Φτάνει πια με τη βάρβαρη φλυαρία σου! 
Επιστρέψτε με -- τώρα!”

“Our friend here is getting agitated.”

“Hey, amigo, English. 
Can you speak it?”

“Μη νομίζεις ότι μπορείς να με
εκφοβίσεις!  Είμαι από τη Σπάρτη!

“Hang on – I think I caught
something there.  Sparta?”

“Λοιπόν μιλάς τη γλώσσα μου.”

“He reacted to that. 
I think he’s from Sparta.”

“But how the hell did
he get in my car?”

“I dunno -- mutual
hallucination?”

“You mean drugs? 
I’m not on drugs. 
Are you on drugs?”

“…maybe…”

“Oh, swell, a stoner and a Greek. 
What a great pair.”

“Hey, I didn’t cause any trouble – “

“Όχι άλλες άσκοπες φλυαρίες!  
Πάρε με σπίτι αλλιώς θα σου κόψω
το λαιμό!

“Dude!  He pulled a knife on me!”

“Hang on!  I’m hitting the brakes!”

“Ωχ!”

“I’m tasing this mofo!”

“Γαμώ!!!”

“I’ll mace him!”

“Τα μάτια μου!”

“Kick him out of the car!”

“He’s gone!”

“I can’t see him in the mirror. 
Can you see him out the back?”

“No.  It’s like he disappeared
before he hit the asphalt.”

“I hate it when this sort of thing happens.”

“This happened before?”

“Not as often as you think.”

© Buzz Dixon